Thursday, January 24, 2013

30 Day Push Day 18 & Happier at Home Day 11

30 Day Push Challenge
Day 18:

To-Do: Circle items that need to be done this week (blue), star items that need to be done today (need to, not want to) (green), all other items need to be done "soon" (black).

1. Clean car
2. Vacuum car
3. Pick up bedroom
4. Pick up living room
5. Clean off kitchen table
6. Clean bathrooms
7. Crochet scarves
8. Fold laundry
9. Clean out closet
10. Clean out Isabel's art drawer
11. Clean out nightstand
12. Clean off catch all

Happier at Home
Day Eleven: Quit nagging.

"In a romantic relationship, or in a family, or any partnership, chores are a huge source of conflict. Who does what?"

Patrick and I just had this conversation earlier this week. I didn't finish laundry again this weekend and asked him to help. I felt guilty doing so, but in retrospect I keep thinking "Why shouldn't he help?" He knows that it's not my favorite chore so what's the big deal about having him finish two loads of laundry after I've done seven?

Patrick and I have gotten into the habit of one of us cleaning the apartment really well. It's random but we get into these cleaning moods and we'll pick up and dust and vacuum. The other will come home and say thank you and within a week or two it's back to being a mess. Then the other person picks up.

To be honest, this isn't working. We both feel unappreciated and resentful. I am 100% guilty of nagging Patrick to do something (just last night I nagged him to read a part of a book he's been promising to read for weeks now). I don't want to have to do that for chores around the house too.

We've tried to make a chore chart, but that didn't work either. I would have a chore I needed to do but didn't want to do it on the day I had planned, or Patrick would be in charge of the dishes but the sink would fill up with dishes and I'd get annoyed looking at them.

It's difficult to find that balance. It may be time to sit down and revisit the chore chart while discussing our expectations (like taking the trash out before the entire apartment stinks or finishing the laundry in a weekend and not taking a week to finish hanging and folding the clean clothes). Hopefully we can find a solution so that the chores get done, nagging is non existent and we're both feeling good instead of unappreciated.

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