Friday, June 29, 2012

June Goals

1. Walk and/or run 100 miles.
Fail. As of this morning I am at 76.84/100. I don't see myself getting more than maybe 1 more mile in.
2. Track every day on My Fitness Pal.
Fail. I didn't track every day, but I did get better about tracking. I find that I am better about tracking during the week than I am on the weekends as I have easier access to a computer.
3. PR at the Arroyo Creek Half Marathon.
Success! My original PR was 2:49:47 and I finished at 2:39:10.
4. Complete at least one item off of bucket list.
Fail. No reason really.
5. Work on budgeting better using
I would consider this a fail. I did pay more attention to my excess spending, however due to moving expenses my budget was shot. I'm hoping since the move is done now we can work on our debts and our savings.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Weight Loss Success

While on the Weight Watchers message boards this morning a fellow "boardie" asked the following question:

"When it comes to losing weight, do you base your WL success more on :

1.) the number on the scale
2.) how your clothes fit
3.) how you feel
4.) your energy level"

The question really hit home with me due to my recent obsession and love/hate relationship with my scale.

For me, I used to base my weight loss success solely on the number I saw when I stood on the scale. It didn't matter how I did during the week, what I ate how much I exercised. None of that mattered if I didn't see the number I wanted. I was focusing on being "skinny" not being "healthy".

After I started training for the marathon I realized that it was more important to me to focus on training, while still eating healthy, but not necessarily putting as much energy towards it. That slowly evolved into me not tracking at all and not paying any attention to what I was putting in my body. I was burning so many calories while I was training that I got into the mindset that I could eat whatever I wanted and believe me, I did.

At that time I still felt great. My clothes fit fairly well, but the number on the scale wouldn't move or would go up. It was frustrating because I was running so much that it should have outweighed the damage I was doing.

I realized at some point that the number on the scale is just that, a number. It doesn't define me as a person. It doesn't make me a good person. It doesn't mean that my wedding dress is not going to fit (I've recently tried it on and it's actually too big). It shouldn't define my happiness, and it doesn't mean anything, unless I allow it to. That number shouldn't mean anything when I can look in the mirror and have even the slightest bit of confidence, something that I rarely have.

When the marathon was over and my training schedule involved a lot less mileage my eating habits should have followed and changed as well. They did not. Excuse after excuse was used. I could come up with any excuse to not exercise and the line I used most often was that I would start over tomorrow.. Tomorrow turned into almost 3 months before I had had enough.

Now that I'm training for half-marathons I have a new mindset about how I eat. I am focusing on my calorie intake using MFP so that I can see how many calories I am eating, how many calories I am burning and visually seeing how many of those burned calories I should replace with food. I'm trying to be more educated about it by replacing these calories with protein and complex carbs instead of just food.

I am trying to lose weight again as well, while training. It's very frustrating and I wish that I could say I've had some success. From my weekly weigh-in's it's pretty clear that I'm doing something wrong, but from the way my clothes fit and from looking at progress pictures I'm doing something right.

I feel like I'm back to being dependent on what the scale says. I weigh myself every morning. I question why I see a gain. Sometimes it's clear (what I ate the night before, how much sodium I've had, how many meals included carbs, etc) but sometimes I can have a really good week and still see a gain.

I'd really like to get back to not caring about the number and caring about how I feel. I need to remember that when I gain a pound (or any amount for that matter) that it's not the end of the world and most likely other people can't/don't notice it the way I do. Same with losing. People are not going notice.

I know that I was happier when the number on the scale was just a number.

Thankful Thursday- Vol. 4

1. I am thankful for my parents and my future in-laws for all of their help with the wedding. We wouldn't be able to start our marriage off this way without your help! We both know that a wedding is only one day, but we are really looking forward it!

2. I am thankful that Patrick and I are similar in our views with unpacking. We are both over looking at boxes sitting all over the place and cannot wait to be 100% moved in.

3. I am thankful that tomorrow is payday. With rent at both apartments and multiple other necessary purchases I am down to a whopping $20 in my bank account right now. Since it is the third paycheck of the month, health insurance, dental and 401K contributions are not taken out. The extra money is definitely needed.

4. I am thankful that Isabel is in swim lessons. Sign ups started a few months ago. I logged in about 10 minutes after registration opened and all private lessons were booked. We were placed on the waiting list and got in. She loves it and it's so good to see her comfortable in the water without her floaties.

5. I am thankful for Sherlock Holmes. It is an amazing show on BBC. Watch it! It's addicting. But, be careful. There are only 3 shows a season, each an hour and a half long. There have been two seasons so far and the third season isn't going to start taping until January 2013!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Weigh In- Vol. 8

Weigh-in #8


This week: +0.4
Total Weight Loss: -0.2

Yet another gain. I realized though, that as much as I want to tell myself that I am on plan and ready to lose weight I'm really not. I am not 100% in this and I need to be in order to see a change. I'm still just eating to meet my calories, not necessarily eating the best foods for my body. Lots of carbs and not enough fruits and veggies. So starting today I will be cutting back on carbs.

I tend to do fairly well during the work day Monday through Friday. I feel in control and have access to the internet so tracking is easier. Part of the problem is that I don't go grocery shopping enough so I don't always have the food I want and/or need. The excuses need to stop and things need to change.

This is my weight loss journey and I am really tired of going in the wrong direction. I'm taking control of it today.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Memories- Vol. 2

Knott's Berry Farm- May 2008. Emma's 4th Birthday.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Running Recap

This weekend was my first solo half marathon.

It was a semi-familiar course, since we have often trained on the Simi Valley wash, however I had never run a half marathon by myself. In fact, the farthest distance I've run to date alone it 6.2 miles.

I am not a fast runner, and I probably never will be. I don't usually race for time but since this was my first half marathon alone I wanted to see what I could do.

The race started on time and the first three miles were pretty sluggish. They usually are for me for some reason. My feet were heavy and my breathing was off. Once I hit the three mile mark something changed and things got easier.

The course was pretty uneventful. Being in the middle of June the wash was dry so there was very little wildlife. What made the race, what makes every race, was the volunteers. They are awesome and full of energy and it makes it just a little easier for us when we go through the water stations. A special thank you to them as well as to the police officers directing traffic.

I felt really good between miles 8-10. So good that I upped a few intervals from 1:1 (running 1 minute, walking 1 minute and repeating) to 2:1. I was feeling great and ready to do miles 10-13 using 2:1 intervals but that didn't happen. I got really hot and really sluggish again, but I pushed through.

There was a girl running near me who was also using 1:1 intervals. She was on her walking interval while I was on my running so we kept leap-frogging back and forth. I ended up running an extra minute so we could be on the same intervals and I really think it helped both of us to push through to the end. She had more left than I did though and finished before me, but she found me afterwards and thanked me for pushing her. I thought that was really sweet.

Before the race my PR was from our first half marathon back in December. It was the Santa to the Sea course and we had a wonderful pace group leader with us. She was faster than I think we were ready for, but we made it to the end with her finishing in 2:49. It was very exciting since our goal was to finish under 3 hours.

My goal for any half marathon is to finish under 3 hours. I've learned that in order to reach my goal I need to make it obtainable. 3 hours, to me is obtainable. I secretly wanted to PR though.. My other goal was to run each mile in under 13:30.

Mile 1- 12:44
Mile 2- 13:12
Mile 3- 12:27
Mile 4- 12:22
Mile 5- 11:55
Mile 6- 11:48
Mile 7- 11:53
Mile 8- 12:06
Mile 9- 11:58
Mile 10- 12:05
Mile 11- 12:09
Mile 12- 12:07
Mile 13- 12:10
.02- 0:06
Finish time:

I ended up finishing 10 minutes faster than my current PR! I still can't believe it. What an amazing feeling! Maybe I need to start setting some more challenging goals..

It wasn't until close to the end that I received a text message from Rachel saying that she finished but that she fell about .25 miles before the finish. She had some road burn and her ankle was hurting her. Some other runners around her helped her and she ended up running through the finish line. She's amazingly tough and I'm so proud of her for finishing! She feeling it this morning and is going to the doctor to check out her ankle because there is a lot of swelling. I am hoping everything is okay and that she's not out of running for too long.

*Update: Here is a picture of Rachel's ankle two days post-race.

Weekend Recap- In Photos Vol. 3


Patrick and I spent Friday afternoon unloading boxes. We got a lot done together in a short amount of time. Here is our new apartment before everything was moved in.
Our closet. It has 3 doors!

Our window.

Our bathroom.

The kids room.

The kids bathroom.
The living room.

Our front door.

The kitchen.

Our balcony.

Me and Patrick after moving a bunch of boxes up stairs.


We went and played bunko for a breast cancer charity called Rolling for Pink. It was so much fun! Since we had a group of 12, two women out of our group automatically went to the semi-finals. They didn't win, but it was still really exciting!

Random picture of Marley.

Rolling for Pink.

Rachel, my mom and me.

Our group of 12.
Bunko Boy.

Bunko Boy.

My moms shirt.


Today was race day (and moving day). It was my first solo half marathon. Rachel and I normally run them together, but she was a pace group leader this race and they were only training for the 10K. She ended up falling right at the end of the race and has some pretty nasty road burn and a swollen ankle. She's going to the doctor today and hopefully it's nothing serious.

The shirt we were given.

My bib.

My metal.

I finished in 2:39:06 (according to the website). I PR'd, taking 10 minutes off my best time.

Me and Rachel after the race. Even after falling she ended up crossing the finish line!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Exclusive Commemorative Lithographs

My co-worker came in today with a bunch of exclusive Disney commemorative lithographs for us. She was saving them for when she had a daughter, but she has a son and doesn't need/want them. They're not worth anything (she looked online before she gave them away), but they are pretty cool. I was able to pick the Cinderella (my favorite) and the Sleeping Beauty (Isabel's favorite) lithographs.

I would like to frame them and put them in Isabel's room while she's still young and likes Disney princesses.

A Joke

We were all sitting in the car on the way home from dinner the other night when Isabel, who is 4, asked "How do you wake up Lady Gaga?" It came out of no where. My mom and I looked at each other and then at Isabel and asked "How?" She delivered the punch line with such confidence...


We were cracking up! Not necessarily because it was the funniest joke, but the way she said it was hysterical! What can I say? I'm a proud mom..

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Thankful Thursday- Vol. 3

First and foremost, random pictures from last night...

My new outfit from Kohl's. Jeans, shirt and sunglasses are Lauren Conrad. Shoes from Target from a few years ago.

Dinner for Sandy's (Rachel's mother-in-law) birthday.

Roasted vegetable salad with grilled chicken breast.

Isabel's drawing.

1. I am extremely grateful that moving day is tomorrow. We are so not as prepared as we should be, but our new apartment complex is allowing us to start moving in early, so hopefully that will make the process less stressful. I feel like I've been packing for weeks and nothing looks accomplished.

2. I am thankful to my co-worker and best friend for always being willing to help out when work gets overwhelming. She never complains about how much there is to do and doesn't get frustrated when I need help. I don't know what I'd do without her!

3. I am thankful that the majority of the wedding is planned. I believe I have been a fairly rational bride-to-be, for the most part. I will fully admit to having a few Bridezilla moments. The funny part is, is that I told Patrick when we first got engaged that I was not looking forward to booking the DJ and the honeymoon and those were the two things to send me over the edge.

4. I am thankful for the running group I belong to (and of course to Rachel for pushing me to just try it once). I never thought I would enjoy running with a group of people. In fact I used to hate running outside with fear that someone might see me (the horror!). I though I looked weird when I ran and that I didn't do it right. I was afraid that I would slow people down. It's been 10 months since I joined. Since joining I've been able to complete three 5Ks, one 10K, one 10K mud run, 3 half marathons and one full marathon. I've become more confident in myself and have made goals for future running events. I'll never be the type of person to run a mile straight, and with this group I know that it's okay. I feel welcome and I am so excited for the kick-off meeting in 2 weeks.

5. I am thankful for my running electronics. I don't like to buy myself expensive gifts because I know that the money can be used on more important things. However, I finally decided to treat myself to a GPS watch last Christmas. I asked myself one simple question: "Will you use it?" And the answer was yes, as often as I can. And I do. I use it on almost every walk or walk/run I go on. It sometimes frustrates me when I think I've gone farther than I have, but more often than not it keeps me going longer. Definitely one of the best purchases I've made. My HRM is one of the best gifts I've received. Patrick gave me the HRM for Christmas 2 years ago and I love it. It makes it so easy to track activity. And of course, my interval timer. It makes running intervals amazingly easy and I don't know what I'd do without it.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Weigh In- Vol. 7

Weigh-in #7


This week: +1
Total Weight Loss: -0.6

I am getting really frustrated watching the scale yo-yo up and down. It's been doing this for months and I realized that I'm either at one extreme or the other. I'm either eating really well and not exercising a lot or I'm exercising a lot and not eating really well.

When will I find that balance? I just don't know what to do about that number on the scale and I'm so over the mind games that it plays. Life was so much simpler when I wasn't focused on losing weight. When I was happy with how I looked in the mirror.

I've been working on focusing on both eating well and exercising and using myfitnesspal has really helped me visualize how many calories I should be eating. I'm still struggling with what I'm using those calories on, but I really feel that even though the scale might not be moving in the direction that it should be moving in that I am still fitting into my clothes and I'm beginning to like what my body looks like.

There may not be huge differences in my before and during photos, but I think there are some differences. And maybe it's possible that I'm gaining muscle.. right? Right???



Random thought: I went to the beach on Sunday with the family. While laying there with my shirt on and trying to find a good position for my legs to look good I saw two teenage girls walking by with their itty bitty teeny weeny bikini's. They had perfect bodies and by the way they were walking, they knew they looked good. I sat there thinking about how I wish I had the self control to eat well and work out in order to look like that.

A little while later I noticed some other women near by. They did not have teeny weeny bikinis nor did they have perfect bodies. But, they did have confidence. They weren't trying to hide, they weren't embarrassed to be in a bathing suit enjoying the sun with their friends. They were there having a good time not caring what other people thought about them. And you know what? They looked damn good!

So, I decided that I don't want to be skinny. I want to be healthy and confident with what I have. Yes, I'm going to eat well and continue to exercise. Yes, I hope to tone up so that I can be happy with what I see in the mirror. But that's the difference. I want to be happy with what I see, I don't need to be concerned with what other people see when they see me.

Confidence (not arrogance) is, in my opinion, more sexy and more important than being thin.