Here we go again..

I don't really know if it's going to work this time around. All I know is that I have to keep trying.

I know that training for a marathon takes priority over any concern with weight loss, however my eating habits have gone from bad, to worse, to I don't give a $*%&!

I don't like being in this mentality. It's a dark and cold place.. It's where I can come up with any excuse to not do something, and once I get it into my mind that I don't want to do something I'll do anything and everything to get out of it.

I know my motivation is out there somewhere. I just really haven't been trying to hard to find it. I've just been waiting for it to find me.

Here are some statistics for you:
1. I am approximately 20 pounds heavier for this LA Marathon than I was last year. And when I'm running I can feel every sine pound.
2. I am exactly 15 pounds heavier today than I was 4 months ago on my wedding day.
3. When I'm stressed, I will eat. Doesn't matter what it is.. Currently my stress level is high.
4. When I get serious about losing weight I become dedicated to the idea. I track every bite that goes into my mouth and I exercise 6 times a week, often 2 times a day. I then get told I'm obsessed and lose my drive to try anymore.
5. As of today I have 32 pounds to lose before I hit my "goal" weight. I haven't been this weight since before Isabel was born.

My goal weight is at the beginning/middle of the healthy weight range for my height. It's subject to change. Once I get to a healthy weight range I will adjust my goal to how I feel at a certain weight and what. weight my body can naturally stay at without having to try too hard.

I plan to weigh in weekly, on Saturday mornings before my run. I plan to take measurements monthly. Sometimes it helps to measure both because the scale not always shows your progress the way you'd like, but often at these times the measurements will have changed.

I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty disappointed with myself for letting all my progress with training last year, 30 Day Shred and the weight loss vanish. But it's not going to benefit me at all to think about the would have, should have or could have..

Starting weight: 177
Waist: 34
Hips: 43
Thighs: 25.5
Bust: 39